Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Vikings Inspired Look

So, for those of you who missed my recent obsession with Vikings… I was recently very very obsessed with the show Vikings. It’s such a great show, I love Vikings and ancient Norse Mythology and all that jazz so this is a prefect show for me. I can’t believe it took me so long to get into it, partly because I did think it was a documentary for ages. What a fool I was.

Monday, 14 September 2015

On Grief

Since my Grandma’s sudden death over the August Bank Holiday weekend the whole family have been grieving, it hurts but it’s also a lesson in the different ways people grieve. Or the different ways people have to cope with grief in order to get everything done, such as in this case the funeral arrangements, sorting out bank accounts and social services appointments in order to arrange things for my Grandad who will need to go into care. There’s a lot to do after someone dies, especially if they were primary carer for someone with advanced Alzheimer’s. My family have dealt with the loss in many different ways.

Some members of my family have done a lot of crying. This is usually the kind of grief you see on TV and in movies, it’s more obvious and visceral and much more like the traditional form of grieving. It hurts to see people so upset. Others grieve in more subtle ways, keeping busy so as not to think about their sadness. When there’s so much to do it’s much easier to do this than you might think. I fall more into this category, keeping myself as busy as I can.

There are supposedly several stages of grief, I’ve been through a couple in the time since my grandma died. At first it was shock and denial, not accepting that she was gone. I tried to carry on as normal, my appetite was gone and I felt ‘off’ but I wasn’t crying, I was just getting things done. Sitting and watching my grandad while my mum and aunt were at the hospital or the funeral parlour or wherever else they needed to be. I kept busy and I didn’t cry, maybe it was a brave face to wear so as not to upset my grandad I don’t know. Then I got back to Bolton and as soon as anyone asked me how my weekend was I started sobbing. That was the depression. That week I cried, I drank, I struggled with my own mental health and the feeling of emptiness.

Grief is hard. People cope in different ways, and just because someone doesn’t outwardly appear to be struggling – for example they’re not crying a lot – it doesn’t mean they’re not really broken up inside.

Sunday, 30 August 2015

Monthly Wrap Up: August

I do apologise for the lateness of this. I had most of it written up already, and was just putting the finishing touches to it and sorting out some  of the wishlist and links when I got the news that my Grandma had been taken into hospital. She deteriorated very quickly once she got in there and there was nothing they could do for her other than keep her comofortable. She died at 12:30 this morning. So I hope you understand why this is late. I’ll try to get enough posts drafted for a few weeks (keeping busy stops me breaking down) but please be patient with me in the aftermath of this. My grandma has been a massive part of my life over the years and this has been a pretty hefty blow.

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Hannibal Inspired Look

promo image (c) NBC

This week sees the final episode of season three of Hannibal, which might well be the last episode ever of the show (though, fingers crossed someone like Netflix or Amazon picks it up. Fannibals are pretty awesome.). Over the past two years Hannibal has been one of my favourite new shows. I was skeptical at first - the show was advertised as a crime drama and I'm not a huge fan. However I love it! Hannibal is dark, clever, twisted, gory and so, so beautifully shot. The cinematography and soundtrack are utterly beautiful. I can't say enough good things about the show, though obviously it comes with the warning that this is Hannibal. Things are pretty violent and gory, and of course there's cannibalism, if there wasn't this would be the wrong show. 

Monday, 24 August 2015

How I Budget

When you move out of your parents’ home then budgeting is something which becomes very important, mostly because if you forget to budget sometimes you find yourself with another week until payday and only some less than healthy looking carrots and pasta to survive off (but a really great set of new comics to amuse you and some lovely perfume). This is particularly true if you’re not really used to having as many responsibilities, or as much money coming in. The latter was my situation, as the bursary which comes with my PhD is my first time having any sort of real long term income and is more than I was getting over my previous summer holiday work. I was doing great for the first few months, being used to not having any income, then I realised I had actual money and managed to spend it all a bit quickly.